alright ladies, let's roll out

This should’ve been written yesterday, but I was fucking exhausted:

Yesterday was the Scripnic (scrimmage/picnic).  A bunch of ladies on my team jumbled with ladies on other teams to form new teams and scrimmage against each other.  

1) On the way there, my tire blew out.  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME IN MY LIFE AND ON MY FUCKING WAY TO PLAY ROLLER DERBY, IT FUCKING BLOWS OUT.  *deep breath* Fortunately I was driving with a lady on my team who is fucking stocked to the nines with weapons, so she pulled out a knife and started sawing off the tire.  

Oh, okay. 

We ended up changing it in 15 minutes.  By the way, just imagine 2 ladies on the side of the road, one in fishnets, trying to figure out how to change a tire.  I’m sure it was quite the sight.

2) We finally arrived at the scrimmage and it went pretty well.  We won the first bout and lost the second.  I jammed quite a bit, and my coach was always looking to me to get shit done (that was a really good feeling).

3) The highlight of my night was when I was jamming and I lined up on the jammer line with a beastly blocker in front of me.  As soon as the whistle blew, I extended my left arm so my left hand was about 6” away from her face and when she turned to look, I juked to the right.  I didn’t get lead, but who fucking cares.  I felt invincible.

4) Not derby related, but a straight chick was flirting with me the whole time.  I was extremely frustrated.

5) We had a picnic and ate food and didn’t blow any other tires out on the way back.  

We did a big NSO clinic today which allowed us to scrimmage a lot because it’s probably the best way for the NSO’s to learn their job.

My team fucking owned it.  And when there was a power jam in our favor, one of the ladies on my team came up to me with the jammer panty and said, “score us a lot of points.”  I scored at least 30 before the other jammer came in.  

All in all I’d say it was a pretty great practice.

I watched my derby wife’s bout on DNN and these are my thoughts:

*clears throat*

At my practices, we have been discussing what to do in case of a power jam.  Well, there were several of those today.  And even though it was an extremely competitive bout, the Outfit lost by over a 100 points because of power jams.  And every time the power jam was caused by a track cut.

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.  

They tried to wall up, and it would stop them for a little bit, but then a  no pack is called and the jammer is allowed through.  

There doesn’t seem to be a good way to defend against power jams rather than not allowing them to happen.  At least, not to your team.

I’m starting a new segment called “Reasons Why I Play Roller Derby”. 

HOW I FEEL WHEN SOMEONE BLOCKS MY DERBY WIFE

rollerderp:

Basically me in the stands the whole game.

We did our head shots tonight.  Unfortunately, that took up most of the time, and we really didn’t get a chance to skate all that much.

However, I was talking to some of the ladies who I carpool with and they were saying that at the bake sale, which was Friday and I was unable to attend, some of the ladies were saying that I was really good.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THAT MEANS TO ME.

And also, one of the ladies yelled at me on Saturday for messing around on my skates because she didn’t want me to get hurt before our bout.  So, I’m starting to believe that they think I’m good.

My name is Marilyn Monroll and my self-esteem and self-concept come from validation from everyone.